Project Bowl

Conon O'Brian

Conan wins tonight with this:

The illusionist David Copperfield has revealed the details of his new magical stunt: to impregnate a woman standing on the stage without even touching her.  He is calling the trick "The Tom Cruise."

Fuckin' Chuck Norris

Thanks to Nicole for sending me this!  Heh!

While playing the role of a Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris used live ammunition during all shootouts. When the director explained that he couldnt do that, he replied, "Of course I can, Im Chuck Norris," and roundhouse kicked him in the face.

When his martial arts prowess fails to resolve a situation, Chuck Norris plays dead. When playing dead doesnt work, he plays zombie.

Chuck Norris was the original treasure in National Treasure.

It is common knowledge that there are three sides to the force: The Light Side, The Dark Side, and Chuck Norris.

Scientists used to believe that a diamond was the worlds hardest substance. But then they met Chuck Norris, who gave them a roundhouse kick to the face so hard, and with so much heat and pressure that the scientists turned into artificial Chuck Norrisi.

Jay Leno

A new segment here at The Bowl which is the one line which made me chuckle the most during the day.  The one-liner tonight comes from Jay:

President Bush has declared war on pornography.  The big question is when are they going to be making the War on Pornography playing cards?  "Hey look, the Queen of Diamond's"

Spam Results Time!

For a while tonight it looked like Va-va was going to be the winner.  Her guess of 101 was spot on and then, within the remaining 50 minutes, a flood of spam soaked the box (probably sent in by the winner) which sealed The Wizard a victory for this round!

The inbox has now been cleared out so place your guesses in this posts comments on what you think my spambox will suck in by midnight next Sunday (CST) and good luck! :)  The winner will get another prize... but back to this week...

Congratulations Wizard, this week you win the Brucie Bonus Image [right] which you can show off to all your friends and make them jealous!  Heh.

I'd like to teach the world to sing...

The album is nearly here!  You cannot hold back the excitement, eh?  Ahem.  Yeah, I know that feeling too!  Bygones.  If you want to help spread the word on news of my forthcoming album then keep reading!

All help and support is really appreciated folks! Thanks! :)

Still chances...

...to place your bet on how much spam will be in my gmail spambox by sunday midnight.  Click here to place your bet in the comments!  Closest guess wins!

The Mango

Saw an interesting piece of art today entitled: "A women being menaced by a giant mango" and it had us amused!

Santa needs to shape up

This year we can hopefully expect to see no more skanky Santa's as the Ministry of Fun Agency has established guidelines for girth, beard length, attire, footwear and general demeanor of Mr Claus.

James Lovell, spokesman for the company, said, "Santa is a magical and cuddly man, not a fat, smelly slob.  He must not smell of drink or body odor and his 'Ho! Ho! Ho!' must resonate deeply."

Failure to match up to this image could see Santa's slapped with lawsuits and behind bars.  Yeah, like that would be a nice image... :P

Three Q's

Three things we each would really like to know about what women think is the topic for today's Men's Club.  Now I have given this some thought about how to write this and I realize it cannot just be an article tucking into the minds of men wondering what women think.  That is bound to be done elsewhere so true to my nature of trying to come up with something a little different, I have put together an honest set of conceited questions I never honestly have asked except when asked to write an article for the Men's Club.  So here goes my selfish list...  I promise, the ego has landed so there is no fear of (unnecessary) head-swelling should you decide to send answers on a postcard.  Ahem.  Bygones.

1. What do women really think about my accent?  Does it make a difference for better or worse?  Would it be better if I had my a truer-Irish accent, a gently-Anglo accent, a french accent, Skeletor or my plain old regular one?
2. What do women really think about my looks, my style, my fashion, my charm, my personality and my insane sense of humor?
3. What (and how often) do women really think about me when they fantasize (not just sexually but, hey, some of that too if it can be thrown in there)?

Check out the more sensible questions from: Silk, Kathy and Phoenix for the ladies. Phin, Jamesyboy, the Naked Villains and Nugget for the genties.  Good night and sleep well peeps.

One hand in the cookie jar... Update #2

For those that have been enjoying this saga, here are the latest developments in screen grabs.  The first is a mail he sent me trying to b/s his way through everything.  Keyword: ---> 'drew' <---

The second grab is when he tried to publicly make a call that it was his own when, in actual fact, we'd proved otherwise.  He has since sent an email to Hayley *retracting* everything he has said thus far *except* he still maintains it is his own original work AND ideas... even his own image/icon which you can see him talking about in the email here!  Did we or did we not just make his own image up from a web site?  Holy moses!

Enjoy the saga finale!