TMC: Season II, Episode I

Ladies and well...ahem... this is what you have all been waiting for since summer started... The return of The Men's Club and The Demystifying Divas! Are you ready for some hot, wild and passionate moments with screams, moans and thrusts?  Are you ready to have some Irish in y... wait, wait... sorry, I got my diary mixed up.  This is the introduction for the...uh... private little get together I arranged to 'welcome' the sexy new guest Diva's and to personally greet them as they - uh - get on-board.  Ahem.

*Fumbles around to find the right introduction*

Ah here it is... *Clears throat*

Ladies and gents, in the return of the great debaters we ask the questions: Do women want a nambi-pambi man or some with more brick than the Pentagon?  Do they want a GI Joe or Barbie's Ken?  How emotional do women want us to be?  Do women really want the strong silent type?  Stiff upper... erm... lip... and all that, eh?

Well, obviously all women are different (although this could be a newsflash for most guys out there, I feel I am stating the obvious for the female readers) and all have different needs and desires.  But I honestly cannot think of a single woman that actually wants either of those alternatives as absolutes.  Hear me out and don't touch that knob dial...

There are times when a girl is going to need her guy to be strong, unwavering and unemotional for her - to be her rock and bulwark.  But there are times when she needs him to show his emotions because as most women know, showing your emotions is not a sign of weakness.

There is a difference between being caring and being a wet carrot - and no, guys, I'm not talking sexual body parts right now - and there is a positive and negative side to being either strong or emotional.

In fact, the strong silent type doesn't have to be devoid of emotions because it is all about the situation.  As far as I know, a woman doesn't like the silent type because she can feel shut out.  There are times, however, when a woman just wants a guy to shut the hell up.

There is an old Derringher saying that says if a woman sticks three men in a room she will get the latest sports result, beer stains on the carpet and a half-assed opinion.  But if a guy sticks three ladies in a room he will get fifteen opinions and no supper.  This topic, I fear, was suggested by one of the female readers because I believe it is something of a trick question where there is no right answer.  There is possibly no wrong answer either... except any answer offered by the men of this blogging group. :P

One of the sitcoms I cannot stand and do not even find funny happens to be Everybody Loves Raymond.  Sorry, it doesn't do it for me and is just not my cup of tea.  Give me the obnoxious Doug from King of Queens.  I digress, last evening I was sitting with the delectable Va-va watching TV when a trailer for a re-run of Everybody Hates Loves Raymond came on.  I must confess it was the funniest clip I have ever seen of the show and had both of us laughing.  I still cannot stand the show but it was a classic clip! Raymond was sitting in bed with his other half (Debra) when she asks him, "You know what I think?"

Raymond replies, "If I say 'yes' does it mean you won't tell me?"

I shall now pause for dramatic effect whilst I deliberate my closing to tie up all these loose ends.

This is, then, my point.  An individual woman's needs and wants differ from day to day.  One day she wants something one way, the next it will be totally different.  Maybe it is the moon or maybe it is hormonal but if a woman tells you today she needs you to show your emotions and stop being so silent and unapproachable, for the love of money (which, incidentally, is a saying that came from when a husband let his wife borrow his credit card) do not go ahead and think you can show those emotions again tomorrow.  Come tomorrow, next week or even next month (depending on how often you dare converse) if you suddenly show your emotions as she had specifically requested previously, she will probably snap your head off and tell you to toughen up because she needs a real man.  Her needs changed (the moon moved into a different phase and she is stocking up on tampons from the local Target/Tescos) and somehow you were supposed to know that what she wanted was a stiff upper lip and not a wet willie, so to speak.

Now, for those that are not regular readers of my blog or for those that do not know me (yet) you may think I am sounding sexist where, in fact, I am just calling it as it is.  I have this great expression I use when talking with Va-va (guys, get your notebooks out here) which is, when I sit with her, I look her in the eyes and say, "honey, tell me what you are thinking/feeling right now because I can't read your mind" and even if she doesn't know or can't feel she can't share, at least she knows I'm trying and I am there for her.  Use this method to work out if she wants you to open up or if, indeed, you need to put it on ice until later.

I know one thing though, in all seriousness, that a woman who loves you will want you to express your emotions but a relationship is about being strong for each other.  When one is weak, the other is strong.  It is the karma of life.  The balance of the force.  Just be aware if your loved one is going through something when you hit an emotional low.  If you both hit it together, don't dump it on her, but talk it through at a gentle pace.  That way gives less room for misunderstanding or emotional roller-coaster rides.

Whilst I am on relationship tips, I suggest guys that every morning, before you get out of bed, as soon as you wake up, roll over, wake up that adorable woman you love so much and tell her, "I'm sorry" because it will make things so much easier for the day ahead.

She will ask, "sorry for what honey?"

You can then reply, "for being a man.  For burping.  For scratching.  For all the things I'm going to do today that defines me as a man.  Just remember this moment throughout the day and know I'm sorry."

You can't lose with that and you may even get some early morning woohoo.  Heh  ;)

For the other takes of this subject we have in the pink corner: Fistful of Fortnights, Cake Eater Chronicles, Just Breathe, and Villains Vanquished. And in the blue corner: Down For Repairs, Phin's Blog, Naked Villainy, and a special welcome to Jamesyboy - The Future's Bright.

Comments

[sadie]

Dayum! Stiggy ran with this one out of the ballpark. Must hit rather *ahem* close to home, eh good chappie?

Bygones!

[Chrissy]

I think the lady is a lucking one, indeed.

; )

[Va-Va]

but honey you don't burp or scratch or do rude manly things because you are a GENTLEMAN! so why would you have to apologize for that!? and this is NOT sexist at all so i dont know why you apologized in advance for it! i agree fully :)

and the lady IS indeed a lucking one ;) hehe.