One Lump or Two?

The big question being unearthed this week is, "How do you tell if a man/woman is single?" and was first posed over here.

Well, aside from the obvious rings that either sex could be wearing on certain digits - ahem - there is a distinctive look that says, "I am single."

For example, this look, as posed by Va-va, once said:

"I'm single and I want you Mr Irishman."  Now, however, the look says, "I will poke those gawking eyes out with my stilettos because I am well and truly taken you norty peeping tom."

For all the Tom's out there, I would like to assure you that Va-va doesn't want to jab you in the eyeball.  Much.  Bygones.

But I can see many of you (yes, because my blogging crystal ball enables me to see you... Tilesey, that also means you and I suggest you close that web page now, young man!) are still confused on how one image, one pose can say so much.  Let me break it down for you with more distinctive examples:

A girl who is single:
- will flirt outrageously AND bite her lip when you try and hit on her.
A girl who is taken:
- will flirt outrageously and then mention the word 'boyfriend/hubby' or grab his arm when you try and hit on her.

A girl who is single:
- will drink lots of booze.
A girl who is taken:
- won't if she is expecting a baby.  Unless she is Britney Spears.

A girl who is single:
- will look around the room and drool at all the hot guys.
A girl who is taken:
- will look around the room and secretly take the piss out of all the guys who think they are hot.

But what about the gents?

A guy who is single:
- will rub his trouser legs as he gets horny looking at all the scantily clad women.
A guy who is taken:
- will have Jamesy rub his legs to control his raging hormones lest he throw the hot chicks on the table.

A guy who is single:
- will read FHM, Maxim and GQ.
A guy who is taken:
- will read National Geographic and Gardener's World.

A guy who is single:
- will admit that a chick is hot.
A guy who is taken:
- will admit that a chick is hot "but..."

A guy who is single:
- has a box of candy in his bathroom cabinet.
A guy who is taken:
- has a box of tampons in his bathroom cabinet.

Va-va and I went out to a bar several months ago (before we put the cake in the oven at 350°) and this hooker friend of a friend's sister had the audacity to sit next to me and flirt.  She sat on my left and Ms Voom, to her delight, sat on my right.

Now, aside from the fact this whore girl was a wanna-be 60's throwback, she also happened to be very well aware I was dating Va-va.  This didn't, however, stop her leaning in and trying to press her breasts large angora sweater against me.  This didn't stop her saying to me, "you shouldn't date younger women, you should be dating someone older... like me" so loud that Va-va would have heard it if she was sitting in the bar across the street.  This also didn't cause Ms Voom to get up and slap the hussy.  No, she just sat there, at my side, and grinned like a smug hot darling that she is and even encouraged me to talk to said slut.

Now, Va-va had been giving clear indications that we were dating that even a blind man could see we were a couple, yet this woman decided to ignore the warning signs... and that, ladies and gents, is where we must examine why.

Why would someone ignore the clear signs that state, "no entry" and have flashing red lights?

Because for some people out there, it doesn't matter.  They just want one thing and don't give a rats ass about the rules.  And it is those people that then become a danger to the rest of singledom.  It is those people that, when they are dating and taken, will continue to give off the 'take me now - hard and fast' vibe and not think about the consequences.  They won't care who could get hurt and they certainly will not be treating their other half like a prince/princess.

And finally, for those who are dating and are wondering if their other half is actually cheating on them and feel a little unsure.  The sure way of knowing is when you get a phone call from the producer of The Maury Show.  Of course, if you get a phone call from The Jerry Springer Show you may find out that your mister is actually a sister.

The other members of the crew blogging this week are:
In the pink corner - Silk, Kathy and Phoenix.
In the blue corner -  Phin, Nugget, Jamesy and those Naked Villains.
In the special preview corner which we just painted green - Sadie and  Pammy.

Comments

[Tilesey]

Hey!

I make good money from it!

[Jamesyboy]

That photo brings back fond memories ;-)

[sadie]

I must admit, I've come back (more than once) to admire Va-Va's legs. Sigh.

[Stigmata]

Heh. Permission to be the smug bf right now... pls? ;)

When Va-va went out today shopping with her Mom, I actually had this page up and underneath all the other pages I was working on so every now and then (when expose did its magic in os x) they would appear every now and then... heh ;)